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  • Writer's pictureChristina Cunningham Spinler

The Power of Gratitude in a Relationship

Updated: Apr 30, 2023

Positive vs. Negative view can be a positive habit to develop - yes it has to be intentional

Gratitude is a powerful emotion that can have a significant impact on our mental health and well-being. When we practice gratitude in our relationships, we can strengthen our connections, deepen our sense of appreciation, and foster a more positive outlook on life. In this blog post, we will explore the power of gratitude in a relationship and how it can benefit our mental health.


Gratitude is the act of acknowledging and appreciating the positive aspects of our lives. When we practice gratitude in our relationships, we are taking the time to recognize and express appreciation for the positive qualities and actions of our partner. This can include simple things like expressing thanks for doing the dishes, to more profound moments of gratitude for the emotional support and love they offer.


According to Dr. Gottman, one of the most important factors that contributes to a healthy and happy relationship is the ability to see the positive in our partners. In this blog post, we will explore what Dr. Gottman would write about seeing the positive in our partners and how it can benefit our mental health.


Dr. Gottman's research has shown that successful couples have a "positive sentiment override," which means that they see each other in a positive light, even during conflict. This positive sentiment helps to buffer the relationship from the negative effects of conflict and contributes to overall relationship satisfaction.


Gratitude or Positive Override can have many benefits for our mental health, including:

  1. Increased happiness: When we focus on the positive aspects of our relationship and express gratitude for them, we are more likely to feel happy and content with our partner.

  2. Reduced stress: Gratitude can help reduce stress levels by shifting our focus away from negative thoughts and feelings and towards positive ones.

  3. Improved communication: Gratitude can enhance communication in our relationships by creating an atmosphere of appreciation and respect.

  4. Strengthened bond: Gratitude can strengthen the emotional bond between partners by fostering a deeper sense of connection and appreciation for one another.

So, how can we practice gratitude in our relationships? Here are a few tips:

  1. Express appreciation: Take the time to express your appreciation for your partner regularly. This can be in the form of verbal affirmations, written notes, or small gestures of kindness.

  2. Focus on the positive: Instead of dwelling on the negative aspects of your relationship, make a conscious effort to focus on the positive aspects and express gratitude for them.

  3. Practice mindfulness: Take a moment to pause and reflect on the things you are grateful for in your relationship. This can help you feel more connected to your partner and foster a deeper sense of appreciation.

  4. Create gratitude rituals: Make gratitude a regular part of your relationship by creating rituals such as a daily gratitude journal or a weekly gratitude ritual where you express appreciation for each other.

  5. Create positive experiences: Plan activities and experiences that are enjoyable for both partners. This can create positive memories and strengthen the relationship.

  6. Look for the positive in conflict: During times of conflict, try to focus on the positive aspects of your partner rather than dwelling on the negative. This can help to reduce tension and increase understanding.

Seeing the positive in our partners is essential for building a healthy and happy relationship. By focusing on their strengths, practicing gratitude, looking for the positive in conflict, and creating positive experiences, we can cultivate a positive sentiment in the relationship that contributes to overall relationship satisfaction and mental health. So, take the time to see the positive in your partner and experience the benefits it can bring to your relationship and your own well-being. Just don't forget to say them out loud. :-)


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