Principle 3: Turn Towards
"Turn Towards Each Other Instead of Away". This principle is based on the idea that small moments of connection and interaction between partners can have a big impact on the health and longevity of a relationship.
According to Dr. Gottman's research, couples who turn towards each other during moments of interaction, such as during a conversation or while doing a task together, have a stronger and more satisfying relationship. This means responding positively to each other's bids for attention, affection, or support, rather than ignoring or dismissing them.
Turning towards each other involves being present and engaged in the moment, actively listening to each other, and showing interest and curiosity in each other's lives. This can include sharing small daily experiences, such as how your day went or what you are feeling, and responding with empathy and understanding.
In contrast, turning away from each other can involve being distracted or disengaged during moments of interaction, or responding with criticism, defensiveness, or contempt. These negative responses can erode the connection and intimacy in a relationship, and make it more difficult to resolve conflicts.
By turning towards each other instead of away, couples can create a stronger and more positive connection in their relationship. This principle emphasizes the importance of creating a culture of appreciation and positivity in the relationship, which can help to foster trust, love, and intimacy.