This week, I’m focusing on simple ways to enrich and relax the body—because when your body feels balanced, your thoughts and emotions naturally become easier to manage. If you’re struggling with chronic anxiety or stress, instead of trying to "fix" your thoughts, shift your focus to nurturing a sense of calm and joy in your system. Your body is always communicating with your mind, and when you gently support it with moments of relaxation and connection, you create the space for clarity, ease, and resilience to emerge.
Oxytocin, often called the “bonding hormone” or “love molecule,” plays a powerful role in emotional well-being, trust, and social connection. It’s not just about romance or parenting—oxytocin is deeply involved in the nervous system, influencing everything from stress regulation to immune function. Understanding how to increase oxytocin naturally and why an open, curious mindset supports this process requires looking at how the brain and body interact with social and emotional experiences.
The Role of Oxytocin in the Nervous System
Oxytocin is produced in the hypothalamus and released by the pituitary gland, primarily in response to social bonding, touch, and positive emotional states. It has a bidirectional relationship with the autonomic nervous system, particularly the parasympathetic branch, which is responsible for rest, repair, and social engagement.
The vagus nerve, a key part of the parasympathetic system, is deeply connected to oxytocin release. When we engage in activities that promote oxytocin—such as affectionate touch, social bonding, or even acts of kindness—the vagus nerve is activated, lowering heart rate, reducing stress hormones like cortisol, and increasing a sense of calm and connection. This explains why warm, safe relationships help us feel physically and emotionally better.
How to Naturally Increase Oxytocin
The body releases oxytocin in response to both physical and emotional experiences. Some of the most effective ways to boost this hormone include:
Physical Touch – Hugging, holding hands, massage, and even petting an animal increase oxytocin levels. Skin-to-skin contact stimulates sensory neurons that communicate directly with the brain, triggering oxytocin release.
Eye Contact and Presence – Genuine, attentive presence with others activates social bonding pathways in the brain. Eye contact alone can stimulate oxytocin, reinforcing a sense of trust and connection.
Acts of Generosity and Kindness – Giving, whether through compliments, support, or helping someone in need, stimulates oxytocin production. Research shows that prosocial behaviors activate brain regions associated with reward and bonding.
Laughter and Shared Joy – Shared positive experiences, especially laughter, enhance oxytocin release. Laughter also activates the vagus nerve, helping shift the nervous system into a relaxed, socially engaged state.
Meditation and Deep Breathing – Practices that activate the parasympathetic nervous system, such as mindfulness meditation, breathwork, and even certain forms of prayer, can encourage oxytocin production. Deep, slow breathing stimulates vagal tone, which is linked to oxytocin release.
Social Storytelling and Shared Experiences – Listening to or sharing meaningful stories, particularly those that evoke empathy, creates an oxytocin-rich environment in the brain. This is why emotional films, books, or deep conversations can leave us feeling closer to others.
Play and Exploration – Playful activities, whether creative expression, games, or outdoor adventures, naturally increase oxytocin by engaging the brain’s reward and social bonding circuits.
Healthy Sexual Connection – Oxytocin is often called the "cuddle hormone" for good reason. Intimacy, whether through sex, affectionate touch, or emotional closeness, leads to significant increases in oxytocin, promoting deeper bonds.
Everyday Moments That Boost Oxytocin
Sometimes, the simplest things can create a positive shift in mood and oxytocin levels. Here are five additional ways to cultivate oxytocin in small, everyday moments:
Look at Photos That Bring Up Happy Memories – Visual images have a direct pathway to emotional memory. Taking a few minutes to look at old pictures of loved ones, joyful experiences, or places that bring happiness can instantly lift your mood and increase oxytocin.
Engage with Meaningful Scents – Smell is a powerful trigger for emotion. Scents like vanilla, lavender, fresh-cut grass, or even an old book can evoke feelings of nostalgia, comfort, and connection. Intentionally surrounding yourself with smells that bring a sense of peace can activate oxytocin pathways.
Listen to Inspiring Music – Music has a profound effect on brain chemistry. Upbeat, nostalgic, or emotionally rich songs can stimulate dopamine and oxytocin, lifting mood and fostering a connection with oneself or others. Choose songs that make you feel deeply inspired.
Create Small, Shared Rituals – Something as simple as making tea for yourself and a loved one, having a nightly check-in with your partner, or writing a short note of gratitude can reinforce social bonds. Rituals create a sense of stability and connection, both of which increase oxytocin.
Practice Gratitude in a Physical Way – Instead of just thinking about gratitude, make it tangible. Speak it out loud, write it in a journal, or send a text of appreciation to someone. The act of expressing gratitude releases oxytocin and strengthens relationships.
The Role of Curiosity and an Open Mindset in Oxytocin Production
Curiosity and openness to new experiences are often overlooked as oxytocin boosters, but they play a significant role in brain function and nervous system regulation.
Curiosity Engages the Dopamine-Oxytocin Circuit – When we explore something new, the brain releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter linked to motivation and pleasure. Dopamine and oxytocin work together, reinforcing feelings of reward and connection.
Openness Reduces Threat Response – A closed, rigid mindset activates defensive circuits in the brain, increasing stress hormones like cortisol. An open mindset engages the prefrontal cortex, reducing amygdala-driven fear responses. This makes social bonding easier and more natural.
Breaking Old Thinking Habits Through Curiosity – Many people automatically react to themselves and others with self-judgment, shame, or frustration. Instead of immediately criticizing yourself for thinking a certain way or being upset with someone else’s behavior, practice curiosity:
Instead of “Why did I do that? I always mess up.”, try “Hmm, I wonder what part of me is activated now?”
Instead of “That person is so selfish.”, try “I wonder what’s going on beneath their reaction?”
Instead of immediately assuming a negative intent, pause and think: “What else could be happening here?”
At first, this may feel unnatural because old thinking habits are deeply ingrained. But practicing curiosity disrupts the automatic stress response and keeps the nervous system in a more balanced state, making oxytocin pathways more active.
Daily Action Plan to Cultivate Oxytocin
Morning:
Start the day with a positive sensory experience—listen to music that uplifts you, drink a favorite warm beverage, or take in a pleasant scent.
Look at a photo or memory that brings happiness.
Set an intention for the day with curiosity: “How can I approach today with openness?”
Afternoon:
Engage in small moments of connection—send a kind text, share a meal with someone, play with your pet, or smile at a stranger.
Take a few deep breaths to activate the vagus nerve, reducing stress and making oxytocin pathways more accessible. Diaphragmatic Breathing
Try an act of kindness, like holding the door open or giving a compliment if you’re alone an act of kindness for pet or yourself.
Evening:
Reflect with gratitude—write or think about one meaningful connection or positive experience from the day.
Spend a moment with eye contact and presence—whether with a partner, pet, or even yourself in the mirror.
Do something comforting—cozy up with a blanket, take a warm bath, joyful nature walk, or engage in a relaxing touch.
The idea is small, intentional shifts throughout the day, oxytocin can become a natural part of your rhythm, leading to deeper connection, resilience, and well-being.
If your body is relaxed your thoughts will follow - reducing rumination and negative thinking