Part 1, part 2 will be on attunement
First, let me list some research by Dr. Daniel Siegel. Dr. Siegel is a Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine and the founding co-director of the Mindful Awareness Research Center at UCLA. Famous in my field.
In order to be a better communicator (couples or with your children), it can be very useful to develop a deeper understanding of your inner world.
!. Reflection exercises: Dr. Siegel recommends that parents take the time to reflect on their own childhood experiences, including how they were parented, what they learned from their parents, and how those experiences impact their own parenting styles. Reflecting on these experiences can help become more aware of their own emotional reactions and triggers.
2. Mindful awareness exercises: practice mindfulness exercises, such as meditation or breathing techniques, to help them become more aware of their own thoughts and emotions. By cultivating mindful awareness, one can learn to regulate their own emotions and respond to their children or partner in more positive and effective ways.
3. Journaling: Dr. Siegel suggests that one keep a journal to document their own thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Writing down their thoughts and emotions can help one gain clarity and perspective on their own parenting or communication patterns and the impact it has on their partner or child(ren)
4. Seeking feedback: feedback from trusted friends or family members, or even professional therapists, to gain a different perspective on their parenting style and how it impacts their communication patterns and responses to their own children.
5. Mindful presence: Practice being fully present and engaged with one's child or partner. This means putting away distractions, such as cell phones and computers, and focusing on the present moment with the person in front of you. This can help one build a strong connection with their child or partner and promote a sense of security and safety.
6. Attunement: This means being aware of and responsive to the other person's emotional state. By attuning to their emotions, one can help their child regulate their own emotions and develop a sense of self-awareness. And for one's partner it is easier to self regulate when you understand they are separate from you and are free to fully experience their own feelings, opinions and ideas in a safe environment.
7. Empathy: By empathizing with the other person's or child's emotions, one can create a safe and supportive environment for their them to express their feelings and develop a sense of self-awareness.