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Lightbulb Love Letters

Newly Committed/Engaged

Combination of Gottman and Prepare/Enrich Assessment


The program is first built around a comprehensive assessment tool (prepare and enrich) that helps couples identify their strengths and areas of growth in their relationship. The assessment covers a range of areas, including communication, conflict resolution, intimacy, personality, and more. Next we dive into research evidence skills by The Gottman institute that are proven to help couples have successful relationships. 

Based on the results of the assessment, couples are then provided with personalized feedback and recommendations for improvement. The program includes a range of resources and tools, including workbooks, exercises, and activities designed to help couples build and strengthen their relationship skills.  Very comprehensive! 

Its a class but still one on one private sessions with just you and your partner so you can get individual attention to your needs.

Quality premarital preparation, like PREPARE/ENRICH, can reduce the risk of divorce and increase relationship skills and satisfaction. In a survey of 3,334 couples, premarital education programs were found to reduce divorce by 31% (Stanley, Amato, Johnson, & Markman, 2006). Participants with premarital education had higher marital satisfaction, higher commitment, and lower marital confl ict.

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The Newly Committed Relationship Program

Program begins May 2023

The program is a couples counseling and premarital education program that has been used by millions of couples worldwide. Here are some key points:

  1. Improved Communication: The program provides a comprehensive assessment of a couple's communication style and helps them identify strengths and areas for improvement. Through the program, couples can learn effective communication skills that can help them resolve conflicts in a healthy and constructive way.

  2. Enhanced Relationship Skills: The program focuses on building skills that are essential for maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship, such as emotional regulation, empathy, and problem-solving. Participants learn how to better understand themselves and their partners, and how to navigate relationship challenges.

  3. Increased Self-Awareness: The program helps individuals gain a better understanding of themselves, their values, and their goals. This self-awareness can lead to greater personal growth and improved relationships with others.

  4. Tailored Assessment: The program is tailored to each couple's unique needs, based on their assessment results (prepare and enrich assessment). This means that the program is customized to address specific areas of strength and weakness, ensuring that participants get the most out of the program.

  5. Long-lasting Benefits: Couples who participate in the program report long-lasting benefits, such as improved communication, stronger emotional connection, and better conflict resolution skills. These benefits can help couples maintain a healthy and fulfilling relationship for years to come.


Overall, the program offers many advantages to couples who want to strengthen their relationship or prepare for marriage. It provides a comprehensive assessment of the couple's strengths and areas for improvement, as well as customized guidance and support to help them build a lasting and fulfilling partnership.


What to expect

Each session will have a lecture with PowerPoint, a possible video to watch, an exercise to practice in session, a discussion about that week's topic and then a practice goal in between sessions with assigned readings.     Please note this is a structured but still flexible format.  This may not be typical  "counseling"  though we do talk about issues and feelings, please note  I offer couples counseling after couples have completed the class. 


My method is not suited for couples in a crisis or wanting to dive into issues immediately as I specialize in enrichment counseling format and I stick to this format due my choice of therapy.  I love to first set a solid foundation based on evidence-based practices of healthy relationships - which naturally helps counseling be more successful.

First Session: Get to know you 

-Take assessment between sessions

2: Review Prepare/enrich assessment

What we focus on depends on your assessment

3: Overview of the seven principles, Gottman's research, and lecture on what makes a marriage work:

  • Longest lecture on summary of class

  • Video discussing Gottman's 4 horsemen that are disasters to marriages

  • Assign a practice assignment

  • This session covers chapters 1-3

4. Enhance your love maps

  • Lecture for about 10 minutes on principle 1

  • Practice Exercise on Love Maps

  • Practice Exercise on Asking open-ended questions

  • Assign a practice assignment

  • This session covers Chapter 4

5. Nurture Your fondness and admiration

  • Review the previous lesson  and the practice assignment from the previous week

  • Lecture for about 5-10 minutes on the new principles 2 and 3

  • Practice exercise on cherishing your partner

  • Assign a practice assigned on Fondness and Admiration

  • Principle 3

  • Turning Toward

  • Stress Reduction Exercise

  • This session covers Chapters 5 & 6     

7. Let your Partner Influence you/2 kinds of conflict

  • Lecture on Principle 4

  • Exercise 1, Yield to win

  • Exercise 2, Island survival game

  • Two kinds of confllict

  • Lecture

  • Exercise on solvable and perpertual problems

  • Lecture the keys to manage conflict

  • Covers chapter 7 and 8

8. Working on solving solvable problems

  • Review previous sessions and assignment

  • Lecture on principle 5 - soften your startup

  • Exercise practice on softening startup

  • Lecture on learning to make and receive repair attempts for 5 minutes

  • Practice with the repair checklist

  • Lecture on soothing yourself and each other for about 5 minutes

  • Self-soothing practice exercise

  • Lecture on Compromise for about 5 minutes

  • Exercise on finding common ground

  • This session covers Chapter 9

General Overview 

. Coping with typical solvable problems

  • Review previous assignment

  • Lecture "unplugging from distractions for about 5 minutes

  • Quiz on electronic distractions with discussion

  • Discuss on the topic of interest as stress, money, parents, housework relations with inlaws,

  • Practice exercise with inlaws (optional)

  • Exercise on "Who does what list"

  • Quiz on quality of sex, romance and passion

  • Lecture on five ways to make sex more personal and romantic

  • This session covers Chapter 10

9 Overcome gridlock

  • Review assigned assignments or readings

  • Lecture on principle 6 about 10 minutes

  • Lecture and review over flooding and self-soothing about 10 minutes

  • Lecture and overview of understanding the dream behind the conflict

  • Practice exercises on detecting dreams behind the conflict

  • Lecture on working on a gridlocked Issue

  • Practice exercise on a gridlocked martial issue

  • This session covers Chapter 11

10. Create shared meaning

  • Review readings or assignments

  • Lecture on principle 7 the ideas of shared meaning pillars: rituals of connection, support for each other's roles, shared goals, shared values and symbols

  • Exercise on using the four pillars above

  • Lecture on The magic 6 hours

  • Lecture on The marital poop detector

  • Lecture on forgiving yourself

  • Practice exercise 

  • Next steps 

  • This session covers Chapter 12


Schedule a meet and greet before your first session, we can ensure if the class is a good fit and you can ask questions.


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