I can easily admit that I naturally fit the definition of someone with high-functioning anxiety. This part of me is strong and requires daily attention—some days more than others—because it’s simply part of my temperament. I don’t need to eliminate it, but I also don’t want it running my day because that can be exhausting. Instead, I call on my self-energy to guide and coach it throughout the day.
So, If you live with high-functioning anxiety, you know the feeling. That constant hum in the background, the overthinking, the mental to-do lists that never stop running. Outwardly, you might seem like you’ve got it all together—keeping up with work, responsibilities, and daily life. But internally, there’s often a whirlwind of pressure, self-doubt, and fear of not doing enough.
And in the midst of all that mental noise, there’s one thing we often forget:
👉 We do have choices.
Even when life feels overwhelming, uncertain, or out of control, there are tiny choices available to us in each moment. Choices that bring us back to ourselves, to our own self-energy—the calm, wise, and compassionate part of us that isn’t caught up in the urgency of anxiety.
So, let's slow things down. Let’s take a breath. And let’s talk about the power of small choices and how they can help quiet the anxious part of you that feels like everything is spinning too fast.
What is High-Functioning Anxiety?
High-functioning anxiety is like being in a car that never fully stops. You keep moving, doing, achieving—but it’s fueled by an undercurrent of restlessness, tension, a sense of urgency, not enough feeling, and maybe a fear of failure. It often looks like this:
Overcommitting and saying “yes” to everything
Feeling like rest is unproductive (or even guilt-inducing)
Constantly overthinking conversations, decisions, and the future
Feeling tense, even in moments that should be relaxing
Needing to stay busy to avoid uncomfortable feelings
Having a hard time delegating or trusting others to handle things
Overpreparing or obsessing over details to avoid mistakes or uncertainty
Struggling to enjoy accomplishments because your mind is already onto the next thing
Feeling a constant need to be “productive” even during downtime
Worrying about letting people down and feeling responsible for their emotions
Having a hard time saying "no" out of fear of disappointing others
Feeling physically restless (fidgeting, tapping, clenching jaw, shallow breathing)
Second-guessing your own decisions and seeking reassurance from others
Having a mental checklist running at all times that never seems to be “done”
Experiencing tension headaches, stomach issues, or trouble sleeping due to stress
In fact, our society often encourages this mindset! It’s sometimes referred to as having a Type A personality.
Plus, It doesn’t always look like anxiety. Many people with high-functioning anxiety appear calm, competent, and successful. But inside, there’s an anxious part that’s driving the bus, making sure everything is handled perfectly—or else.
Sound familiar?
Here’s the good news: You don’t need to overhaul your life to start feeling relief. You just need to reconnect with the choices you already have, the ones your anxious mind often overlooks.
Where Do I Have a Choice? Small Moments Mater!
Sometimes, when anxiety runs the show, it feels like everything is happening to us—like we’re reacting rather than choosing. But every day, in small ways, we actually have more power than we think.
1. You Have a Choice in Your Thoughts
You can choose to pause before reacting instead of immediately spiraling into worst-case scenarios.
You can choose to reframe self-criticism into curiosity: What if I didn’t fail? What if I just learned something?
You can choose to offer yourself kindness, even when you feel like you don’t deserve it.
2. You Have a Choice in How You Start Your Day
You can choose to take one deep breath before grabbing your phone in the morning.
You can choose to sip your coffee or tea mindfully, just for a moment, instead of rushing into the day.
You can choose to put your feet on the floor, feel the support beneath you, and set an intention before jumping into work.
3. You Have a Choice in How You Move Through Stress
You can choose to shake your body when you notice tension creeping in.
You can choose to take a short walk or stretch for two minutes instead of pushing through exhaustion.
You can choose to breathe slower when your heart starts racing—because your breath tells your body it’s safe.
4. You Have a Choice in Your Boundaries
You can choose to say “I need a minute” before responding to a stressful email.
You can choose to pause before saying “yes” to something you don’t actually want to do.
You can choose to end a draining conversation early—even if you feel guilty at first.
5. You Have a Choice in How You End Your Day
You can choose to let go of one unfinished task and remind yourself, it’s okay not to do everything today.
You can choose to listen to calming music instead of doom-scrolling before bed.
You can choose to write down one small win from the day, even if it’s as simple as “I drank water.”
Gentle Reminders for Your Anxious Parts
When high-functioning anxiety is running the show, our anxious parts need gentle, compassionate reminders that they don’t have to do everything alone.
💛 “You don’t have to solve everything right now.”💛 “It’s okay to take breaks. You don’t have to earn rest.”💛 “You are not behind. You are exactly where you need to be.”💛 “It’s safe to slow down. You are supported.”💛 “One thing at a time. You don’t have to rush.”
Small Choices, Big Impact
You don’t have to change your whole life to start feeling calmer. You just need to notice the choices that already exist in your day—because even small shifts can create big change over time.
So the next time anxiety tries to convince you that you’re stuck, ask yourself:
👉 Where do I have a choice right now?
Because you do. Even in the smallest moments, you do. And those moments add up to something powerful.
For me today, I chose to do something that brings me JOY! What brings you JOY?